From Stressed and Overworked to Balanced and Empowered: My Journey to Finding Myself Again

There was a time when I thought I had it all figured out. The career, the titles, the responsibilities—I was checking every box society told me I needed to check. I was the quintessential Pinterest "perfect Mom," doing everything simultaneously. However, as the demands grew and the hours got longer, I felt something shift inside. Instead of fulfillment, I was left with exhaustion, anger, and stress. My fuse was short, my patience even shorter, and the constant feeling of imbalance seeped into every corner of my life. I was a career-obsessed mom of two, constantly on edge, feeling like I was always falling short at work and at home.

I wasn't the mom I wanted to be. I wasn't the woman I wanted to be. I simply wasn't "me" anymore. I lost myself in the shuffle of life and followed the demands society placed on me.

Maybe you know this feeling—the rush of life constantly pulling you in a million directions, the weight of ALL the ridiculous expectations sitting heavy on your shoulders, and the inner voice whispering—There has to be more than this.

The pandemic transformed reality for each individual on our planet. For some, it acted as a critical wake-up call—a sudden epiphany that encouraged the reassessment of life’s priorities, beliefs, and overall direction. This call was subtle for some and striking for others; I believe it propelled many on a path toward self-discovery, resilience, and personal growth. My moment of realization unfolded one pandemic night after a busy day of virtual meetings and ensuring my kindergartner and fourth-grader were able to SIT online for 6 hours- it was an impossible task. Overwhelmed and unable to pull myself away from the spot where I’d spent the last eight hours, I simply broke down and cried. Overwhelmed and empty at the same time, I knew this wasn't just physical exhaustion but a profound emotional emptiness.

Trigger warning for mental health concerns

In the following weeks, I felt utterly disconnected, as if my consciousness had somehow floated out of my body. My thoughts spiraled into darker, more irrational, and truly frightening places.

Several weeks after my laptop incident, I woke up with a feeling of dread. My thoughts were spiraling into illogical solutions to the pain. My girls were 6 and 9. One afternoon, we logged out of our devices and headed to a playground, where I sat and cried while they played. I called my husband for help, wanting to be admitted to a hospital because I no longer wanted to feel anything. Yes. It was that serious.

That moment at the playground became my turning point. I spent so much time chasing a physical transformation that I forgot about my mental wellness. All I wanted was to become a smaller version of myself, be more attractive, and become that vision of "perfection" I imagined a successful woman looked like (whatever that meant). There was such a dissonance within that I lost touch with myself, my peace, my life mission, and with what truly mattered.

It didn't happen overnight, but little by little, I began to make changes.

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(Stay tuned for Part 2 where I share the turning point in my journey.)

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